Have you ever heard the saying “What you
focus on is what you get?” It means if you are feeling sad or disappointed and
you keep talking about this, thinking about this, then that is how you will
feel. You will have encounters with others who will agree or sympathise with
you or both. Yet if you are feeling happy, you radiate, you bring happiness to
others. People will feel your energy and want to be with you. Again, what you
focus on is what you get. I found the following saying:
You
cannot escape the results of your thoughts.
Whatever
your present environment may be,
you
will fall, remain or rise with
your
thoughts, your vision, your ideal.
You
will become as small
as
your controlling desire;
as
great as your dominant aspiration.
I wish I knew who said that. Isn’t it
wonderful? What do you think of it? Is it true for you? What do you want to
happen in your life?
Now back to the saying “what you focus on
is what you get.” Try an experiment for me just to see what you think. Pick an
area, any area of your life and start focusing on that. It is best if you use a
generalisation. Some examples:
- Most people I know exercise –
and start looking at all the people you know who exercise.
- My partner helps out around the
house – and start watching for when they help out around the house.
- Every weekend, I get time to do
something that I really enjoy – and take note of what little things happen on
the weekend that you enjoy.
- I have fantastic friends who
really care – and take note of the small actions and things your friends do for
you.
These are just some small examples, which
you may have noticed, I only used positive examples. All of these could be
switched to a negative but that would mean we are focusing on the negatives and
that will make us feel not so good.
Many years ago, I was working full time (I
did get one day off a month) and felt that I was the only mum in the whole
school who worked full time. All I saw was mums who were always there to pick
up their children. Then I went to work part time and that is when I realised I
was not the only mum who worked full time, who wasn’t there to always pick up
her children, there are loads of mums who are all juggling as much as me. It
was what I was focusing on, and it was negative and it dragged me down.
I have really learnt the power of what you
focus on is what you get. Another personal example was that I felt my husband wasn’t
helping enough at home on evenings. Then I decided to shift my focus and
decided that everytime he helped I would say “thank you”. Now I had good
reasons for this and that was I was trying to use positive reinforcement. That
old tactic you use with children to get them to do things, I figured I would
try it with my husband.
So every time he helped I say, “thank you”.
Now what I realised was how many small little things he did without me asking.
Perhaps my frustration had been that he wasn’t doing what I would like him to
be doing at that moment, but he was doing things. This changed my attitude and
we are a great team now that work really well together. That was my aim and
focus, and it has happened.
Too often, we focus and think about what we
don’t have or what we would want. Take time to focus on what you have and be
grateful for it and then think about what you want and dedicate your thoughts
and focus to that. It will happen. What you focus on is what you get, so what
do you want? Start seeing it, hearing it, feeling it, and believing it.
