The way we represent things in our minds determines how we feel
about life. A related distinction is that if you don’t have a way of
representing something, you can’t experience it. While it may be true that you
can picture something without having a word for it, or you can represent it
through sound or sensation, there’s no denying that being able to articulate
something gives it added dimension and substance, and thus a sense of reality.
Words are a basic tool for representing things to ourselves and often if
there’s no word, there’s no way to think about the experience. For example,
Native American languages have no word for “lie” – that concept is simply not a
part of their language. Nor is it a part of their thinking or behaviour.
Without a word for it, the concept doesn’t seem to exist. In fact, the a tribe
in the Philippines reportedly has no words for “dislike”, “hate” or “war” –
imagine!
I recently heard of an ancient tribe that had no word for weekend.
Records show they worked 7 days a week all their life. It kind of supports the
theory that if there isn’t a word for it, then it doesn’t happen.
So what does this mean? Does it mean if you don’t use certain words
then you don’t experience their emotion? I wonder, why not try it? Experiment
for yourself. See what happens and please let me know. I am truly interested.
If words you’re using is creating states that disempower you, get
rid of those words and replace them with those that empower you.
At this point you may be saying, “This is just semantics, isn’t it?
What difference does it make to play with words?” The answer is that, if all
you do is change the word, then the experience does not change. But if using
the word causes you to break your own habitual emotional patterns, then
everything changes.
Effectively using Vocabulary – vocabulary that transforms our
emotional experience – breaks resourceful patterns, makes us smile, produces
totally different feelings, changes our states, and allows us to ask more
intelligent questions.
Tony talks about an example of words changing what happens. He tells
the story of his wife and him are both passionate people who feel deeply about
things. Early in their relationship they would often get into what we they called
“pretty intense arguments.” After discovering the power of the labels we put on
our experience to alter that experience, they agreed to refer to these
“conversations” as “spirited debate”. That changed their whole perception of
it.
We can also soften emotional intensity even further by using
“modifiers”. For example, by saying “I’m just a bit peeved”, “I’m feeling a tad
out of sorts”, or “ I’m beginning to get a smidge cranky”. We are taking the power out of the
experience.
Once you understand the power of words, you become highly sensitized
not only to those you use, but to those that people around you use as well.
I myself have tried this – I have replaced telling myself “I am so
tired” with “I’ve worked hard today, it’s time to rest.” I have noticed that I
don’t use the word “stressed” to describe when I have too much on. Seeing as I
don’t use the word ‘stressed’ I don’t find that I am stressed.
Start to notice the words you use that aren’t empowering or
supporting you, then think of how you can replace them and then think of how
you can modify or disempower them even more. Notice not only in yourself also
notice those around you. You will be amazed by the power of words.
“Be an inspiration to yourself and
you will be an inspiration to others.”
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