Is Your Life Out of Control?

Perhaps it’s because I have recently had a holiday, but I have found that many conversations with people are based around how busy they are that they never get time for themselves. The conversation usually ends with, “but what can I do?”

This is said as a statement not a question. I then find that I am in a dilemma as I know they are not really seeking a solution or advice from me. What is it they are looking for when they say something like that? Is it confirmation that they are right; life is too busy, none of us have control? Is it agreement? Do they want to hear how busy I am too which confirms their beliefs? What is the outcome they are looking for? I could challenge them on their statement, but I know that is not what they are seeking at all.

So what do I mean by challenge them? I could ask them if they have thought of any activities that they could eliminate? That could be from reducing work hours, to resigning from a committee, it may be the kids, reduce the number of activities they are involved with, perhaps they get a house cleaner, a gardener, or even ask the family members to step up and help out a little bit more.

Realistically, we have choices in life. At times, I am not sure we realise that. We are the one who need to take control of our life. If we do look at all the activities we are doing and we don’t want to drop out, reduce, eliminate or change any of them then we have chosen that option. When you think of it this way that usually means you are doing all these things because you want to. That means you have chosen this and you are comfortable with your choices. Perhaps just looking at it in this way can mean that you no longer feel overwhelmed or pushed as you have decided to live this way. It is your choice and you are happy with that.

Did they end up with too many commitments because they can’t say no when others ask for help and support? If that is you then you need to take some time to think about who is benefiting from you helping out and who is not benefitting. The committee you are on may benefit greatly from your support but maybe it is you who is pushed just that little bit too far. It could be your partner or other family members that are missing you. If this is the case then it is time to take stock, and more importantly take responsibility and do the right thing by you.

I know it is a bit of a rant this time but I do feel strongly about this. Life is all about choices and we are the drivers. If we want to exercise but can’t find the time, that means we have made a choice that exercise isn’t a priority. If we want to catch up with friends but don’t make the call, then we are making a choice and that isn’t a priority. They actually say if you want to do something enough, you will make that a priority. Deep down that really means we are the drivers and if we feel out of control so much that we find we aren’t enjoying our life then we need to do something different.

If you are feeling trapped then reflect on the words by Audrey Hepburn “Nothing is impossible.The word itself says “I’m possible.” We just have to work out how to make it happen. What do you need to do differently to take back control?