What Will It Take For You To Create a Better Life?

Many of us talk about creating a better life. We want our life to be different – but how? We’re often not sure or clear on what we really want. So we keep doing what we have always done. Wanting or wishing for change but not actually doing anything about it.

If you keep on doing what you’ve always done,

you’ll keep on getting what you’ve always got.

W.L. Bateman

Why is that? Is our life not really that bad that we aren’t motivated enough to change? Are we lazy? Are we too busy to actually make change? Is it lack of clarity? Is it lack of motivation?

We all have excuses and justifications for our lack of action. We aren’t wrong and we certainly aren’t alone with our behaviour.

Why then do some people suddenly have absolute clarity over what is important in their life? They know what they have to do, when they have to do it and why they should be doing it?

I know for a couple of my friends, lately, their reason for clarity has been ill health. Both friends had been diagnosed with a potentially life-threatening illness. Both friends had their life put on hold for approximately six months while they went through treatment. Both friends have come out of the ordeal [for want of a more suitable word] having clarity, complete and utter clarity about what is really important for them and the people they love the most.

Both friends are now creating the life they really want to live. Are they fortunate or not, that they had to go through such a traumatic period to gain clarity?

So what can the rest of us do to gain clarity? What can we use to motivate us? Why is it that people who face their own death suddenly know what is important to create the life they want to lead while the rest of us busy ourselves so we don’t have to take action?

I am interested to know what would motivate you to change? Is it money, health, relationships, career?

Evan Money said:

Take Action and the World is Yours.

So what action do you have to take to create your ideal life? There are many ways to do this. One suggestion is to look at your life in categories and rate them out of 10. These categories are individual and up to you; however, to assist you to get started may I suggest the following:

• Health
• Fitness
• Business / Career
• Community
• Personal Growth
• Finance
• Relaxation
• Romance / Significant other
• Spiritual

When you are evaluating, your score doesn’t matter, what matters is the next step. For example, if I rated fitness a 6 out of 10, then my next question would be, what do I have to do to move this category to a 7? Think about your next step and take action to make it happen. Step by step, action by action, you are on your way to creating a better life -the life you want.

You can make improvements in one category at a time or identify a few. Be mindful of planning to make too many changes that it becomes overwhelming and you run back to your comfort zone. At times, creating a better life may mean you have to take a step out of your comfort zone and do something different or new. Just take a small step that means you will take action to create a better life. Take the attitude of bring it on and make your life one that excites and motivates you every day!

Is Your Life Out of Control?

Perhaps it’s because I have recently had a holiday, but I have found that many conversations with people are based around how busy they are that they never get time for themselves. The conversation usually ends with, “but what can I do?”

This is said as a statement not a question. I then find that I am in a dilemma as I know they are not really seeking a solution or advice from me. What is it they are looking for when they say something like that? Is it confirmation that they are right; life is too busy, none of us have control? Is it agreement? Do they want to hear how busy I am too which confirms their beliefs? What is the outcome they are looking for? I could challenge them on their statement, but I know that is not what they are seeking at all.

So what do I mean by challenge them? I could ask them if they have thought of any activities that they could eliminate? That could be from reducing work hours, to resigning from a committee, it may be the kids, reduce the number of activities they are involved with, perhaps they get a house cleaner, a gardener, or even ask the family members to step up and help out a little bit more.

Realistically, we have choices in life. At times, I am not sure we realise that. We are the one who need to take control of our life. If we do look at all the activities we are doing and we don’t want to drop out, reduce, eliminate or change any of them then we have chosen that option. When you think of it this way that usually means you are doing all these things because you want to. That means you have chosen this and you are comfortable with your choices. Perhaps just looking at it in this way can mean that you no longer feel overwhelmed or pushed as you have decided to live this way. It is your choice and you are happy with that.

Did they end up with too many commitments because they can’t say no when others ask for help and support? If that is you then you need to take some time to think about who is benefiting from you helping out and who is not benefitting. The committee you are on may benefit greatly from your support but maybe it is you who is pushed just that little bit too far. It could be your partner or other family members that are missing you. If this is the case then it is time to take stock, and more importantly take responsibility and do the right thing by you.

I know it is a bit of a rant this time but I do feel strongly about this. Life is all about choices and we are the drivers. If we want to exercise but can’t find the time, that means we have made a choice that exercise isn’t a priority. If we want to catch up with friends but don’t make the call, then we are making a choice and that isn’t a priority. They actually say if you want to do something enough, you will make that a priority. Deep down that really means we are the drivers and if we feel out of control so much that we find we aren’t enjoying our life then we need to do something different.

If you are feeling trapped then reflect on the words by Audrey Hepburn “Nothing is impossible.The word itself says “I’m possible.” We just have to work out how to make it happen. What do you need to do differently to take back control?

Time Management and Shopping

If you set up a system for when you go shopping then you will find that shopping is more fun and enjoyable and will take less time. Do you know that we wear 20% of our clothes 80% of the time? This means that we have a lot of money invested in clothing that we don’t wear – let alone the time it took us to purchase all those items.

If you follow some rules then you will save yourself some time when shopping:

Know what suits your body

• Learn your body shape
• Understand what colours suit you

Know your reason for going shopping:

• What is your reason for wanting to purchase a new item
• Write down what items you need to purchase
• Ask yourself – when will I wear it? Where will I wear it? How many times will I wear it?

Preparation for shopping:

• Allow enough time
•  Think about the shopping hours and try to shop when there are less people at the shops
•  If you are co-ordinating items then take those items with you then you won’t wonder if they go, you will know

Questions to ask:

• How many items in my wardrobe will the item go with?
• Can it be dressed up or dressed down?
• Will you be able to use it in more than one season?

If you purchase an item that needs to be altered then take it to be altered immediately. Otherwise, it may just be another item at home that hangs in your wardrobe.

Another way to save time is to actually go through your wardrobe at least once a year. That way, you can ensure that your wardrobe is always functional and serves you. Some questions to ask and guidelines to follow include:

• Anything that you won’t get repaired - then out it goes
• Anything that no longer looks good – out it goes
• Anything that doesn’t fit you – either too big or too small – out it goes
• Anything that is dated – out it goes
• Anything that you feel uncomfortable in – out it goes

Following these tips and guidelines will ideally save you time when you go shopping so that you can use your time for more productive and fun experiences.