Do You Take Responsibility For Your Life?

Jordan Belfort said “The only thing standing between you and your goal is the bull**** story you keep telling yourself as to why you can't achieve it.”

Wow, how’s that for an impact at the very start? Extended apologies to anyone who may have been offended by the quote, but I was simply quoting.

This article is about taking responsibility and being aware of our behaviour and the implications of not taking responsibility. This is an action that holds us back from being the very best we could be. 

How often do we catch ourselves not taking responsibility? Instead of doing something, we come up with ways to explain our inaction. 

We all like to blame others, at times, for things that happen to us or those around us. We like to pass the buck as the saying goes. Blame others for our situation. It took me many decades to realise and understand that where I am in life today is based on the decisions I have made and the actions I have taken. No one else. It is all my doing! I could certainly show you a long list of the people that I believed had dictated my life. However, when I really thought about it, I realised it was all me. My decisions and my actions have brought me to where I am today.

That meant that if I wanted different things to happen then I had to make different decisions and take different actions. 

A concept that I wish to introduce to you is about taking responsibility and not using excuses anymore. It is called being above the line or below the line.

I want you to picture a line and above the line is written:

• Take responsibility
• Think of solutions
• Look for the lessons
• Keep my power

Below the line are written the words:

• Blame others
• Make excuses
• Whinge
• Victim (give my power away)

Before I go into the whole explanation, I am going to start with an example.

If you’re a parent you’ll relate to this (if you’re not, just think back to when you were at school). It’s 7.30pm and your daughter is in tears because she has an assignment due tomorrow and she hasn’t started it yet. She’s angry because her sister is always on the computer, so she can’t get her research done. Her teacher didn’t remind her it was due, and you, her parents expected her to set the table, tidy her room … You get the picture.

This is a perfect example of “Below the Line Behaviour”.

Some more examples:

Late for a meeting – blaming the traffic rather than you not allowing enough time in case there was traffic or to just get a parking spot.

A report is due in one hour and your printer breaks down. You could blame the printer or perhaps you could realise that you should have had it ready the day before, that way, if there were any last minute problems they could be handled.

Your website gets hacked and the web designer hasn’t got a backup. You could easily blame him or take responsibility for not ensuring it was backed up.

It is time you stepped up and took responsibility that is called being above the line.

Our attitudes, state of mind, and moods when we are above the line are significantly different than our attitudes, state of mind, and moods when we are operating below the line.

Take a moment to think about how you operate, do you take responsibility or do you tend to blame others.

If you have blamed others in the past it is time to pause every time you hear the words “It’s not my fault…”, “I had no control…” The list of examples continues. The important part is to catch yourself when you realise that you are making excuses and passing the blame onto someone else. Then just think about what parts you had to play in this outcome. What decisions you may have made. What actions you had taken.

Think about how it could all be different if you had been above the line.

There is power in understanding the difference between below the line and above the line behaviour. There is immense power in actually living your life above the line. 

“Be an inspiration to yourself and
you will be an inspiration to others.”

Key of Ownership

Key of ownership is called Living Above the Line.
 
What is above the line?
 
Above the line is when we take responsibility for what happens in our life. We understand that the decisions we make and the action we take dictates how we live our life.
 
Picture a line, and above the line we have a positive view on life and how we see the world. Some words that apply include:

• Hopeful
• Positive beliefs
• Positive attitudes
• Energetic mood and emotions
• Optimistic

You understand and believe that you and you alone have the power to control your life.

Below that line we have a negative view of life and how we see the world. 

Words that apply are:

• Negative attitude
• Negative beliefs
• Hopelessness
• Depressive
• Pessimistic
• Feeling sad
• Feeling angry

Wow, what a difference those words are! Incredible! Really take a moment to reflect and read them again.
 
What does this mean?
 
It means when we are below the line our thoughts serve us poorly. We are at the mercy of negative attitudes, beliefs, low moods, sadness or anger.
When we are Above The Line, our thoughts serve us well. It is bringing out our best.
 
Your mental and emotional experience of life is greatly influenced by whichever 
state of mind you are in. Take a moment to think about where you operate most of the time? Above the line or below the line? Then think about where you would prefer to be – below the line or above the line?
 
When you are living the majority of your life above the line, you will have a totally different emotional experience than if you are below the line. When you are above the line, everything will look and feel different than when you are below the line.
 
Our attitudes, state of mind, and moods when we are above the Line are significantly different than our attitudes, state of mind, and moods when we are operating below the line.
 
Over the next week, become aware of your moods, thoughts, actions and behaviours and think about whether you are above or below the line. If you don’t like where you are at, then change something. Remember, to make a change you have to take action. So identify the action you need to take and take it. 

“Be an inspiration to yourself and
you will be an inspiration to others.”

Viewing Problems Differently

Are you below the line because you have problems, or do you have problems because you’re below the line? That’s an interesting question.

Below the line is when we blame others for where we are at in life. We don’t take responsibility for our own life. Where we are today is because of other people and what they have said or done to us. We know that most of us have problems in our life, they just vary, but they are still problems.

There are people who operate below the line because they have problems in their life and there are others who look at it differently. They are aware that part of the pain or misery related to their problems comes because they are visiting below the line. They know that the best solutions to their problems are found above the line. 

The greatest benefit of this is that those people who operate above the line most of the time understand that when they are below the line that they still have power. They are aware and acknowledge that they may not be able to control this situation, improve the conditions, what they have control over is their attitude.

When they realise and understand that they can control their attitude, what happens and what they experience is that the conditions of their life changes and improves with their improved attitude. 

All people experience bad things in life. It is part of the journey we go through. However, those that take responsibility for their life and operate above the line are able to be graceful in their suffering. As they stop blaming and take more responsibility for their life, they visit below the line less often; they don’t stay under very long, and bounce back quicker. 

"It’s up to you to decide.
You can let sadness be your magnet,
Or hope be your masterpiece"
-Lowan and Navarro's song, “What I Make Myself Believe” 

When you are above the line you are:

• Hopeful
• Positive beliefs
• Positive attitudes
• Energetic mood and emotions
• Optimistic

You understand and believe that you, and you alone, have the power to control your life. That gives you responsibility for your thoughts, moods and feelings. You understand if things are going to change, to improve then you have to take action to make that happen.

Congratulations on choosing to be above the line and create the life of your dreams.

“Be an inspiration to yourself and
you will be an inspiration to others.”