Do You Take Responsibility For Your Life?

Jordan Belfort said “The only thing standing between you and your goal is the bull**** story you keep telling yourself as to why you can't achieve it.”

Wow, how’s that for an impact at the very start? Extended apologies to anyone who may have been offended by the quote, but I was simply quoting.

This article is about taking responsibility and being aware of our behaviour and the implications of not taking responsibility. This is an action that holds us back from being the very best we could be. 

How often do we catch ourselves not taking responsibility? Instead of doing something, we come up with ways to explain our inaction. 

We all like to blame others, at times, for things that happen to us or those around us. We like to pass the buck as the saying goes. Blame others for our situation. It took me many decades to realise and understand that where I am in life today is based on the decisions I have made and the actions I have taken. No one else. It is all my doing! I could certainly show you a long list of the people that I believed had dictated my life. However, when I really thought about it, I realised it was all me. My decisions and my actions have brought me to where I am today.

That meant that if I wanted different things to happen then I had to make different decisions and take different actions. 

A concept that I wish to introduce to you is about taking responsibility and not using excuses anymore. It is called being above the line or below the line.

I want you to picture a line and above the line is written:

• Take responsibility
• Think of solutions
• Look for the lessons
• Keep my power

Below the line are written the words:

• Blame others
• Make excuses
• Whinge
• Victim (give my power away)

Before I go into the whole explanation, I am going to start with an example.

If you’re a parent you’ll relate to this (if you’re not, just think back to when you were at school). It’s 7.30pm and your daughter is in tears because she has an assignment due tomorrow and she hasn’t started it yet. She’s angry because her sister is always on the computer, so she can’t get her research done. Her teacher didn’t remind her it was due, and you, her parents expected her to set the table, tidy her room … You get the picture.

This is a perfect example of “Below the Line Behaviour”.

Some more examples:

Late for a meeting – blaming the traffic rather than you not allowing enough time in case there was traffic or to just get a parking spot.

A report is due in one hour and your printer breaks down. You could blame the printer or perhaps you could realise that you should have had it ready the day before, that way, if there were any last minute problems they could be handled.

Your website gets hacked and the web designer hasn’t got a backup. You could easily blame him or take responsibility for not ensuring it was backed up.

It is time you stepped up and took responsibility that is called being above the line.

Our attitudes, state of mind, and moods when we are above the line are significantly different than our attitudes, state of mind, and moods when we are operating below the line.

Take a moment to think about how you operate, do you take responsibility or do you tend to blame others.

If you have blamed others in the past it is time to pause every time you hear the words “It’s not my fault…”, “I had no control…” The list of examples continues. The important part is to catch yourself when you realise that you are making excuses and passing the blame onto someone else. Then just think about what parts you had to play in this outcome. What decisions you may have made. What actions you had taken.

Think about how it could all be different if you had been above the line.

There is power in understanding the difference between below the line and above the line behaviour. There is immense power in actually living your life above the line. 

“Be an inspiration to yourself and
you will be an inspiration to others.”

Key of Ownership

Key of ownership is called Living Above the Line.
 
What is above the line?
 
Above the line is when we take responsibility for what happens in our life. We understand that the decisions we make and the action we take dictates how we live our life.
 
Picture a line, and above the line we have a positive view on life and how we see the world. Some words that apply include:

• Hopeful
• Positive beliefs
• Positive attitudes
• Energetic mood and emotions
• Optimistic

You understand and believe that you and you alone have the power to control your life.

Below that line we have a negative view of life and how we see the world. 

Words that apply are:

• Negative attitude
• Negative beliefs
• Hopelessness
• Depressive
• Pessimistic
• Feeling sad
• Feeling angry

Wow, what a difference those words are! Incredible! Really take a moment to reflect and read them again.
 
What does this mean?
 
It means when we are below the line our thoughts serve us poorly. We are at the mercy of negative attitudes, beliefs, low moods, sadness or anger.
When we are Above The Line, our thoughts serve us well. It is bringing out our best.
 
Your mental and emotional experience of life is greatly influenced by whichever 
state of mind you are in. Take a moment to think about where you operate most of the time? Above the line or below the line? Then think about where you would prefer to be – below the line or above the line?
 
When you are living the majority of your life above the line, you will have a totally different emotional experience than if you are below the line. When you are above the line, everything will look and feel different than when you are below the line.
 
Our attitudes, state of mind, and moods when we are above the Line are significantly different than our attitudes, state of mind, and moods when we are operating below the line.
 
Over the next week, become aware of your moods, thoughts, actions and behaviours and think about whether you are above or below the line. If you don’t like where you are at, then change something. Remember, to make a change you have to take action. So identify the action you need to take and take it. 

“Be an inspiration to yourself and
you will be an inspiration to others.”

Life Looks Different From Above or Below The Line

If you are not aware of this concept of ‘Above and Below the Line’ thinking, it means that to you it looks and feels like it is the event that is the source of whatever you are feeling or experiencing. At those times you need to realize that although this may be the truth, there is something better than the truth and that’s the whole truth. 

What I mean is that the “event” is 10% of the source of your experience. The much bigger source of your experience (90%) is your inside reality. This comes from your interpretation of the event and your interpretation of the event is different whether you are operating “above or below the line.”

This means that when an event occurs, you have thoughts about the event and these thoughts dictate your outcome or your interpretation of whether the event was good or bad. 

Event + Thought = Outcome

An example, you are selected to be one of 20 possible people to win a brand new house that is worth $400,000.00. The event is the possibility of winning the house. Your thoughts about this will dictate your enjoyment of the event. 

You have no control over whether you will win or lose the house. What you have control over is whether you enjoy the experience or not.

Another example, you race into the shopping centre at 5:00 pm on a Wednesday evening (Event). You are in a hurry because you have to pick up your daughter from her piano lessons (Event). The shops are very busy at 5:00 pm on a Wednesday evening and you have to line up in a long queue. Whilst in this queue you think, “This is ridiculous. Doesn’t anyone know how much of a hurry I am in?” (Thought). This then equals your outcome which could be, “That was horrible - all those disorganised people. 

The same event you race into the shopping centre at 5:00 pm on a Wednesday evening (Event). You are in a hurry because you have to pick up your daughter from her piano lessons (Event). The shops are very busy at 5:00 pm on a Wednesday evening and you have to line up in a long queue. With a different thought. “All those people are in a hurry like me wanting to pick up their children or get home for dinner. We are all on a last minute rush at the busiest time, how funny are we?” (Thought). This then equals your outcome which is “lesson to be learnt, never race into a shop in a hurry at 5:00 pm at night because everyone else is racing in a hurry as well."

If you were operating below the line you would blame everyone else for their actions and behaviour. When you are operating above the line you would realise that it is your actions and behaviour that have an impact on the event. 

When you take responsibility for your life (operate above the line), this awareness allows you to maintain the power you have to lead, direct and create your own life. With awareness, you can make things better; without awareness, you can’t. It is easier to change your state of mind than it is to change your outside life and when you change your state of mind you will change the experience you have in life.

Reclaim Your Power 

You have the power to live more frequently Above the Line and to only make brief visits Below the Line. 

It can be tough acting “Above The Line”. That’s why the majority don’t do it most of the time. That is why people selling “Magic Bullet” products do so well. You know, the products that promise you will make a heap of money without doing any work? Of course it takes effort and persistence to succeed but that is nowhere as sexy on a sales letter. That’s why so many people get disappointed because they thought they were buying a solution but what they were really buying was hope. They thought by handing over money they could transfer the responsibility for their success to someone else.

Don’t give your power to others. Reclaim your power and accept that if you are to succeed, it is YOUR responsibility. It is up to YOU to implement the programs you are studying. Up to YOU to ask questions of your mentors if you have trouble implementing. Up to YOU to challenge yourself to not act like a victim and look at what you DO have the power to do. 

Can I change?

Can I make dramatic changes in the way I live? Is it possible to change self-defeating thoughts and behaviours that have been my constant companion for as long as I can remember? Can I really do a U-turn and deprogram myself when I’ve never known any other way to think and act? I’ve been depressed (or stubborn, overweight, scared, clumsy, unlucky, or any other descriptor you choose to insert here) my entire life. Is it even feasible or practical for me to contemplate removing these old and familiar ways of being and open myself up to a brand-new me? 

Your beliefs, all of those formless energy patterns that you’ve adopted as your self-image, have the ability to change dramatically and give you the power to conquer unwanted traits, or what you unhappily presume to be your fate.

“Be an inspiration to yourself and
you will be an inspiration to others.”