Time to Create a Better Life ... Book Now Available

Time to Create a Better Life

How to become effective, efficient and focused.

Book Now Available

As many of you are aware, my website was hacked one week prior to the launch of my book “Time to Create a Better Life” whilst my new website is up and ready to go, the products page is still coming. Well I couldn’t wait any longer. I am delighted to announce that “Time to Create a Better Life” book can be purchased now. 

Time to Create a Better Life

How to become effective, efficient and focused.

Time to Create a Better Life Book

Is now available for purchase!

Price: $24.95

Free Postage until Christmas

Payment Options:

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Credit card payments can be made via www.trybooking.com. The links are:

http://www.trybooking.com/CEQI and http://www.trybooking.com/38280
Both links can be used to order the book.

There is a $0.30 cent processing fee.

Cheque / Direct Debit

Email me directly at info@lifestylerefocus.com.au advising the following:

• Your Name
• Address
• Email
• Number of Books Required

And I will forward an invoice with payment options of cheque or direct debit banking.

Price: $24.95

Free Postage until Christmas

What You Focus On is What You Get

Have you ever heard the saying “What you focus on is what you get?” It means if you are feeling sad or disappointed and you keep talking about this, thinking about this, then that is how you will feel. You will have encounters with others who will agree or sympathise with you or both. Yet if you are feeling happy, you radiate, you bring happiness to others. People will feel your energy and want to be with you. Again, what you focus on is what you get. I found the following saying:

You cannot escape the results of your thoughts.

Whatever your present environment may be,

you will fall, remain or rise with

your thoughts, your vision, your ideal.

You will become as small

as your controlling desire;

as great as your dominant aspiration.

I wish I knew who said that. Isn’t it wonderful? What do you think of it? Is it true for you? What do you want to happen in your life?

Now back to the saying “what you focus on is what you get.” Try an experiment for me just to see what you think. Pick an area, any area of your life and start focusing on that. It is best if you use a generalisation. Some examples:

• Most people I know exercise – and start looking at all the people you know who exercise.
• My partner helps out around the house – and start watching for when they help out around the house.
• Every weekend, I get time to do something that I really enjoy – and take note of what little things happen on the weekend that you enjoy.
• I have fantastic friends who really care – and take note of the small actions and things your friends do for you.

These are just some small examples, which you may have noticed, I only used positive examples. All of these could be switched to a negative but that would mean we are focusing on the negatives and that will make us feel not so good.

Many years ago, I was working full time (I did get one day off a month) and felt that I was the only mum in the whole school who worked full time. All I saw was mums who were always there to pick up their children. Then I went to work part time and that is when I realised I was not the only mum who worked full time, who wasn’t there to always pick up her children, there are loads of mums who are all juggling as much as me. It was what I was focusing on, and it was negative and it dragged me down.

I have really learnt the power of what you focus on is what you get. Another personal example was that I felt my husband wasn’t helping enough at home on evenings. Then I decided to shift my focus and decided that everytime he helped I would say “thank you”. Now I had good reasons for this and that was I was trying to use positive reinforcement. That old tactic you use with children to get them to do things, I figured I would try it with my husband.

So every time he helped I say, “thank you”. Now what I realised was how many small little things he did without me asking. Perhaps my frustration had been that he wasn’t doing what I would like him to be doing at that moment, but he was doing things. This changed my attitude and we are a great team now that work really well together. That was my aim and focus, and it has happened.

Too often, we focus and think about what we don’t have or what we would want. Take time to focus on what you have and be grateful for it and then think about what you want and dedicate your thoughts and focus to that. It will happen. What you focus on is what you get, so what do you want? Start seeing it, hearing it, feeling it, and believing it.

How Much Do You Get Out Of Your Life?

Wow – what a confronting question. I came across the following saying the other day that got me thinking.

“People do not live nowadays.

They get about 10 percent out of life.”

Isadora Duncan

How much do you get out of life? I understand there are things we have to do in life that we don’t always love, but how much of your life is made up of that?

This may be one of those questions that is just too hard to answer. So let’s flip the question. How much of your life do you love? What parts of it? We can break life into some categories and start there. Feel free to design your own categories; however, some suggestions to get you going include:

• Health
• Fitness
• Business / Career
• Community
• Personal Growth
• Relaxation
• Romance / Significant other
• Spiritual

I am hoping that this exercise makes you feel good about your life and not sad and pathetic. However, if you are feeling a bit exhausted by the evaluation, the benefit is it may motivate you to change.

Remember, it is the small things in life that bring us most of our happiness. This comes from the 80/20 rule or Pareto’s Principle. It is the small things that bring us joy and happiness. It can be a kiss from a child, a catch up with a friend, a bush walk on the weekend with the family. It is often the really small little things that we love. Those things we do that bring a smile to our face every time we think about it.

If you are finding that you do need to make some changes to your life then pick an area. For example, relaxation – and think about what you do that relaxes you. It may be spending time reading, going for a walk, having a bath, getting a massage, gardening (I know for some it is a wonderfully relaxing thing to do). Then plan that into your week. It can happen. You just have to make it happen.

Aristotle said:

"Happiness is the meaning

and the purpose of life,

the whole aim and end

of human existence.“

So what do you have to do to make happiness a key in your life? What do you need to do to get more from your life? Think about tomorrow. What small changes can you make to have a better life? Why a better life? Because this is it! This is the life you have. Where you are today in your life is about the decisions you have made and the actions you have taken.

When I first heard that, I didn’t agree; however, upon reflection I realised I did agree I just didn’t want to acknowledge that it was true. The best part is thought once you get over yourself and realise that where you are in life now is really based on the decisions you have made and the actions you have taken, then the bonus is, all you have to do is make different decisions and take different actions!

Too simple? Not really. We just have to take action so that we are living life, a wonderful, magnificent life, worth living, worth bragging and boasting about and worth every minute of it. Let’s aim to get way more out of our life than 10%. What’s your target? 

Change – It’s Not Going to be Easy!

There are times in our lives when we want things to be different. It doesn’t matter what the difference is, we all have our own versions of what it is that we want to change.

Some changes are small and some of the changes are massive. The trouble is, change can sometimes be hard for us. It is about doing something new, that something may even be outside our comfort zone. For some, it may be eating better. For others, it may be exercise, it may be quitting smoking, or even taking some time for ourselves. Even though the change may be unique for each of us, the emotions, frustrations, hiccups can be experienced by us all. It is important to remember what Art Williams said:

"I'm not telling you it is going to be easy

I'm telling you it's going to be worth it“

Art Williams

When we want to make changes we are often breaking a past habit. It may be important to remember that many things we do are habits, so why not make them good habits.

There is another saying that I love by John McGrath which is:

Remember, there’s always going to be

some pain in life.

I choose the pain of discipline, to create a

balanced life that I love living, rather than the

pain of regret of a life half-lived.

Because I know that the pain of regret

is a hell of a lot greater.

It’s a fantastic saying, and so true, too. If you need to place this somewhere nearby to keep you motivated then do so. 

How to Increase Your Energy Levels – Mentally

We have been focusing on energy levels the last few articles. Specifically the four levels of energy which are:

• Physical
• Emotional
• Mental
• Spiritual

Last week, we looked at the emotional elements. Emotions strongly impact our productivity. Positive emotions include enjoyment, love, gratitude, hope, challenge, adventure, and opportunity. Negative emotions are costly in that they take away our focus and ability to concentrate. When we’re filled with negative emotions we can be like a time bomb ready to ‘go off’ at any moment.

This week, we will focus on our mental energy levels. In numerous work places, the message is that we need to work longer to increase our productivity. Many workplaces no longer have formal morning and afternoon tea breaks. We think we’re getting more done when we continue to work through lunch. A workout during the middle of the day is frowned upon. We’re encouraged to keep our heads down and grind away for as long as we can.

The problem is that thinking uses a great deal of our energy. Even if your work is physical, you have to understand that you’re still concentrating. The brain represents 2 percent of the body’s weight, but requires almost 25 percent of its oxygen.

The effects of insufficient mental recovery include increase in mistakes, lower creativity and misjudging risks. Tasks take longer as your thinking is slower. The key to being mentally ‘on task’ is to give the thinking mind intermittent rest.

Consider when you have your best ideas – it’s usually when you’re taking a break or doing something completely different. Many solutions are found when we’re walking, in the middle of the night, when you wake with a great idea or solution. It can be when you are playing a sport or even while showering. Your mind needs a break to come up with useful information and solutions. There has been researched conducted and the outcome was that most of the best ideas for work come when you are away from your desk, actually away from work and your mind is focused on something else. This is when the unconscious mind is still working away and that’s why you suddenly have the bright idea or solution.

When you’re feeling mentally tired, perhaps listening to music for 10 minutes, a short walk around the block, having a drink of water, chatting with a friend or co-worker or meditation will help your mind rest and recover so that it can regain focus. It’s through rest and recovery that our mental endurance works best. This is why quick short breaks are recommended. If you focus on a task for an hour then allow your mind 5 - 10 minutes to rest so that it can be at its best for the next task.

It’s reported that the artist Leonardo da Vinci took regular breaks from his work. Apparently, whilst he was painting The Last Supper, he would spend several hours in the middle of the day lost in daydreams and catnapping. His employer, the Prior Santa Maria delle Grazie requested often that da Vinci work more steadily; however, da Vinci replied, “The greatest geniuses sometimes accomplish more when they work less.” Leonardo was allowing himself mental rest and recovery.

How will this information change what you do? How will this information change how you structure your day? Perhaps it may allow you to feel guilt free when you are away from work exercising, spending time with the ones you love, catching up with friends. It is important to understand that mental rest and recovery are one of the keys to functioning at your best.

What Will It Take For You To Create a Better Life?

Many of us talk about creating a better life. We want our life to be different – but how? We’re often not sure or clear on what we really want. So we keep doing what we have always done. Wanting or wishing for change but not actually doing anything about it.

If you keep on doing what you’ve always done,

you’ll keep on getting what you’ve always got.

W.L. Bateman

Why is that? Is our life not really that bad that we aren’t motivated enough to change? Are we lazy? Are we too busy to actually make change? Is it lack of clarity? Is it lack of motivation?

We all have excuses and justifications for our lack of action. We aren’t wrong and we certainly aren’t alone with our behaviour.

Why then do some people suddenly have absolute clarity over what is important in their life? They know what they have to do, when they have to do it and why they should be doing it?

I know for a couple of my friends, lately, their reason for clarity has been ill health. Both friends had been diagnosed with a potentially life-threatening illness. Both friends had their life put on hold for approximately six months while they went through treatment. Both friends have come out of the ordeal [for want of a more suitable word] having clarity, complete and utter clarity about what is really important for them and the people they love the most.

Both friends are now creating the life they really want to live. Are they fortunate or not, that they had to go through such a traumatic period to gain clarity?

So what can the rest of us do to gain clarity? What can we use to motivate us? Why is it that people who face their own death suddenly know what is important to create the life they want to lead while the rest of us busy ourselves so we don’t have to take action?

I am interested to know what would motivate you to change? Is it money, health, relationships, career?

Evan Money said:

Take Action and the World is Yours.

So what action do you have to take to create your ideal life? There are many ways to do this. One suggestion is to look at your life in categories and rate them out of 10. These categories are individual and up to you; however, to assist you to get started may I suggest the following:

• Health
• Fitness
• Business / Career
• Community
• Personal Growth
• Finance
• Relaxation
• Romance / Significant other
• Spiritual

When you are evaluating, your score doesn’t matter, what matters is the next step. For example, if I rated fitness a 6 out of 10, then my next question would be, what do I have to do to move this category to a 7? Think about your next step and take action to make it happen. Step by step, action by action, you are on your way to creating a better life -the life you want.

You can make improvements in one category at a time or identify a few. Be mindful of planning to make too many changes that it becomes overwhelming and you run back to your comfort zone. At times, creating a better life may mean you have to take a step out of your comfort zone and do something different or new. Just take a small step that means you will take action to create a better life. Take the attitude of bring it on and make your life one that excites and motivates you every day!

Is Your Life Out of Control?

Perhaps it’s because I have recently had a holiday, but I have found that many conversations with people are based around how busy they are that they never get time for themselves. The conversation usually ends with, “but what can I do?”

This is said as a statement not a question. I then find that I am in a dilemma as I know they are not really seeking a solution or advice from me. What is it they are looking for when they say something like that? Is it confirmation that they are right; life is too busy, none of us have control? Is it agreement? Do they want to hear how busy I am too which confirms their beliefs? What is the outcome they are looking for? I could challenge them on their statement, but I know that is not what they are seeking at all.

So what do I mean by challenge them? I could ask them if they have thought of any activities that they could eliminate? That could be from reducing work hours, to resigning from a committee, it may be the kids, reduce the number of activities they are involved with, perhaps they get a house cleaner, a gardener, or even ask the family members to step up and help out a little bit more.

Realistically, we have choices in life. At times, I am not sure we realise that. We are the one who need to take control of our life. If we do look at all the activities we are doing and we don’t want to drop out, reduce, eliminate or change any of them then we have chosen that option. When you think of it this way that usually means you are doing all these things because you want to. That means you have chosen this and you are comfortable with your choices. Perhaps just looking at it in this way can mean that you no longer feel overwhelmed or pushed as you have decided to live this way. It is your choice and you are happy with that.

Did they end up with too many commitments because they can’t say no when others ask for help and support? If that is you then you need to take some time to think about who is benefiting from you helping out and who is not benefitting. The committee you are on may benefit greatly from your support but maybe it is you who is pushed just that little bit too far. It could be your partner or other family members that are missing you. If this is the case then it is time to take stock, and more importantly take responsibility and do the right thing by you.

I know it is a bit of a rant this time but I do feel strongly about this. Life is all about choices and we are the drivers. If we want to exercise but can’t find the time, that means we have made a choice that exercise isn’t a priority. If we want to catch up with friends but don’t make the call, then we are making a choice and that isn’t a priority. They actually say if you want to do something enough, you will make that a priority. Deep down that really means we are the drivers and if we feel out of control so much that we find we aren’t enjoying our life then we need to do something different.

If you are feeling trapped then reflect on the words by Audrey Hepburn “Nothing is impossible.The word itself says “I’m possible.” We just have to work out how to make it happen. What do you need to do differently to take back control?